Last night I went on a blind date. I hate blind dates-actually I hate dating-period, but since this one was set up by my cousin, whom I love so much, I figure this one would be a good one. I got ready early decided to wear my short red dress, red sheer stockings and red pumps. I was very anxious so I waited by the door and kept looking out the peep-hole periodically. I started to daydream of this guy being my perfect date-my dream date-my future husband-the father of my children. I was started by the ring of the doorbell, it must have been a good dream, I was excited to see how my dream date look I sneaked a peak from the peep-hole. “Not bad, I thought to myself, average looking his wired small rimmed glasses was becoming of him.” “He looks kind of tall so that’s good.” I opened the door. He wasn’t that tall at all. He wore a blazer grey polo shirt and dark blue jeans. We briefly introduced ourselves, I closed, locked my door and we walked in silence down the street.
We stopped at this red and white motor scooter, he handed me a helmet. “Oh hell no!!” I thought to myself.
“You don’t own a car?” I realize this was a stupid question but who wants to ride on a motor scooter sitting behind a guy they don’t know?
“No!” “This is it!!”
I just sighed and shook my head, looks like this date is off to a bad start. He got on to his little scooter, I reluctantly got on behind him and he drove us through my neighborhood into town, it seemed like the longest ride ever. He rode up to the curb, this block had several small restaurants and various shops. We got off the scooter put away the helmets and started to walk.
“So where are we going?”
“To this neat fifties style restaurant.”
I smiled, I love the fifties; the music, the style of clothing, everything about it, this date may go good after all. We reached the restaurant, it was set like a fifties ice-cream and burger shop, music from the fifties was playing and I’m beginning to feel calm and my mood is brightening. We waited by the hostess station until we seated at a booth, on the table was a mini jukebox. My date took out some quarters, put the coins in the slot and played some music. The waiter took our orders, we both ordered milkshakes, I ordered chocolate, he vanilla. In addition he ordered a double cheese burger and fries, I ordered a fried hotdog and fries. We talked, small talk basically until the waiter returned with our milkshakes.
It’s been a long time since I had a really good milkshake, I was hoping this one would be as good as I imagine, if it is, things will look good for my date, I would consider remaining contact with him, maybe we can share tweets, then all of a sudden, my date began making sounds. I looked at him, he was holding his milkshake up to his face, his eyes were shut, he was slowly slurping his milkshake and he was making sounds like he was in ecstasy, he looked as if he was having an orgasm and I have nothing to do with this. I began to feel embarrass, I looked around the restaurant, people are staring at us, I can feel myself turning red as this guy is having an orgasm over a milkshake. When he finishes, he opens his eyes, he looks at me, then he looks around him, he holds his head down as people stared at us.
Our jukebox stopped playing, the restaurant is quiet, my date and I just sit in silence, I sipped my milkshake with extreme humiliation, I couldn’t even enjoy the taste of my milkshake because I’m so mortified. The waiter finally brings our food. My date and I ate in silence along with everyone else in the restaurant, it seemed like we ate very quickly, so quickly my stomach began to hurt, I just wanted to go home, lie on my bed and scream.
After we ate, we got up, our heads down low, walked quickly to the register. He paid the bill, we rushed out the door, not looking back. He walked back toward the scooter, I started to walk the opposite direction.
“The scooter is this way.”
“I know, I’m going home the other way.”
“I can take you home.”
“I rather walk.”
“But that’s several miles, it will take you forever to get home, let me take you.”
And started walking quickly down the street with my date staring at my back. I have to remind myself to write my dear cousin out my will.