Free write this is the goal, to write without the need to edit, without the urgency to correct relieving all thoughts of being perfect, whatever perfect or perfection means. This is a difficult process for me because I have the overwhelming need to be perfect even though I’m far from it, maybe this is one of the many qualities I inherited from my mother, I wish I could inherit money, but being that nobody in THIS family is rich there is no chance of that happening, I could use the extra money.
I think we all have the need the urgency to be perfect when we know in our hearts there is no real sense of being perfect or perfection. I’m gearing away towards that now, the need to be perfect and constant need to please people, I guess age has shown me I don’t need to be perfect or need to please people. So now I work on doing things that make me happy, those hobbies that make me feel good when I’m in a sad mood, photography as a hobby seem to cure a sadden mood at least for me there was a time when taking photos meant nothing to me, it as just taking photos, nothing spectacular.
I remember my mother buying me a camera, this was a long time ago so it was one of those Kodak flat cameras with flash cubes, yes I’m dating myself, my mother had the “knack” of trying to get me to be interested in stuff, I praise her for that, when I was a kid I just could not get into taking photos, I’m sure it had to do with the way I felt about myself. Now you can’t tear me away from my camera, I want to carry it everywhere I go, it’s not a fancy camera, I think it’s considered a mid-range digital camera, but I’m happy, very happy with the pictures I take and the way they “come out.”
So now I would like to pursue this interest much further, take a couple of classes, that are inexpensive classes of course because I have no hope of an inheritance of coming through. Writing is different from photography, photography always seem to turn out “right” but writing does not, maybe it’s just me, maybe writing is so much easier to be judged than photography, I don’t know, but having a hobby or two does keep me in a good mood when I’m taking a picture it seems so much easier to be “perfect” without even trying, I have to try really hard when I’m writing, to be perfect.
I sound like I’m being contradictory because I previously wrote that I’m beginning to stray away from the need to be perfect, it’s a work in progress, that’s what I believe we all are, a work in progress, a constant work in progress, we never stop the need for improving, growing, learning, when we stop that, we stop living, existing. Well that’s my ramble for today.
Day Nineteen Writing 101 Assignment involves free writing. On this free writing day, remember the words of author Anne Lamott: “I don’t think you have time to waste not writing because you are afraid you won’t be good at it.”
Today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop. No self-editing, no trash-talking, and no second guessing: just go. Bonus points if you tackle an idea you’ve been playing with but think is too silly to post about.